What to Expect at First

What to expect from the first stages of therapy varies based on the alchemy between you, the client, and your therapist. Therapists are trained to pick up on cues coming from the client about how best to approach them. We consciously and unconsciously gauge whether to make a direct approach, keep things slow, inject humor, or start with the weather forecast.

We wonder: will metaphoric language help this client understand what is going on with them or are they more literal? Does a warm smile ease their apprehension or make them suspicious of intention? Do they need something to do with their hands? A pillow to hold in front of them? Or do they need space around them to feel fully safe?

Each therapist has their own style of counseling depending on multiple factors such as the time and place of their graduate education, any specialized training they have undergone, and their personality and communication style. But within that range of the therapist as a professional, there lies flexibility to respond to the information clients share with their facial expressions, body language and tone of voice.

For example, I tend to use humor in therapy but I can tone it back for people who are more serious. I can be animated and use hand gestures but calm myself if I detect discomfort with exuberant physical expression. The process of figuring out the best approach is actually enjoyable and each client presents therapists with a little puzzle to be curious about.